July 2009
Ageing actors force inclusion of stretch marks in new Harry Potter film
As it prepares to release Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Warner Brothers has conceded that a number of new plot elements had to be added to the upcoming film to cope with the rapid aging of its stars, including a subplot in which Harry Potter and Ron Weasley try to exorcise their beer guts, while Hermione Granger battles stretch marks.
Bok coach reveals he is robot sent from the past to save SA men
Embattled Springbok coach Peter De Villiers, the country's most inarticulate person, says that he is actually a robot sent forward into the future from the late 1970s to save South African manhood from intellectuals and ballet dances. He also explained that his "I am what I am" statement was made while channeling the spirit of Welsh diva Shirley Bassey.
Pod of beached SABC board members put out of misery
Shocked onlookers crowded a Cape Town beach this morning as desperate attempts to save the half-dozen remaining SABC board members failed. The blubbery mammals, disoriented and out of their depth, had been flailing wildly for days, and in the final minutes began to spew bile out of their blowholes instead of the hot air the spouted while in their prime.
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
All you need is love. And a panic button that will summon the paramedics when you’ve run out of food and water, and the dachshunds are licking your feet to soften the skin so they can start eating you.
View more
Advertisement
Hayibo Games
Comics
- Palin quitting early as Alaska governor
- Jackson memorial tickets available in lottery
- Analysis: Air France crash mystery deepens
- Report: UK embassy staff in Iran 'face trial'
