Hayibo.com - Obama vows to continue Jackson legacy, urges Americans to 'Cha-mona!'

Obama vows to continue Jackson legacy, urges Americans to 'Cha-mona!'

WASHINGTON DC. US President Barack Obama has reassured the free world that while stopping nuclear aggression by Iran and North Korea and addressing global warming are on his agenda, his primary concern is to continue the legacy of Michael Jackson. "Say hello to your new King of Pop," said the President this morning, moonwalking into a briefing before grabbing his crotch.

Jackson's death last week sent shockwaves across the planet as hundreds of millions of people realised they had not thought about the pop icon since 1998.

However, this morning Obama called for calm, saying that by taking over the role of Michael Jackson for the foreseeable future he was trying to ensure global stability.

"This will be a very difficult time," he told reporters, tilting his white fedora down over his eye at a rakish angle.

"Perhaps more difficult than the economic downturn we are in. Certainly tougher than the prospect of fiery nuclear death sent from Iran or North Korea."

He then said "A-hee hee!" and grabbed his crotch again to muted applause.

But, he said, Americans had faced hardship before and would prevail.

"In the words of Destiny's Child, 'I'm a survivor, what, I'm not gonna give up, what, I'm not gon' stop, what, I'm gonna work harder, what'."

He said that he had called White House Chiefs of Staff together to plan how to make the transition from Michael Jackson to Barack Jackson as smooth as possible, and where to house the chimp that would have to be sourced.

He also explained that one of the greatest challenges ahead would be the correct use and pronunciation of Jackson's trademark "Cha-mona" exclamation.

"We think it's a version of 'Come on!'," said Obama. "A kind of funk call to arms, if you will."

He said it was unlikely that he would use "Cha-mona" in summit meetings with heads of state, but added that he had already used it on North Korea.

"I called Kim Jong-il this morning, and I said, 'Wooooo! Yeah! Huh! Cha-mona!' and Mr Jong-il hung up. He is very belligerent."

Obama said the US's relationship with Iran was also in a delicate position.

"At this juncture we are moonwalking with the hard-line Iranian leadership," he explained. "We seem to be going forward but actually we're going backwards. And then putting our hands over our faces and grabbing our crotches. It's sort of despairing but also super-sexy.

"That's the tone I want to set for my administration. Sexy despair. Yes we can! Cha-mona! Woooo!"