November 2008 | Vol 1 | Issue 47
Rajbansi’s hair to contest 2009 general election
DURBAN. After months of silence Minority Front leader Amichand Rajbansi has admitted that his famous hair has decided to break away and contest the 2009 general election as an independent candidate. Analysts say the move will probably signal the end of Rajbansi's political career as his hair was his most famous asset and was also rumoured to have formulated many of his polices.
Rajbansi, nicknamed "the Bengal Tiger" because of his Indian heritage and a penchant for hiding in long reeds and biting the necks of passing water-buffaloes, has built a reputation as one of the great survivors of South African politics. He sat in P.W. Botha's Tri-Cameral Parliament in the 1980s, won dozens of votes in Durban in the 1990s, and hit the headlines again by allying with and splitting from the ANC on seventeen different occasions between 2001 and 2004.
However analysts say that his hair's decision to run for office in 2009 is a body blow from which Rajbansi is unlikely to recover.
The announcement was made at a brief press conference in Durban this morning, where a visibly emotional Rajbansi told reporters that his hair had been with him "through thick and thin" and that he was "devastated to be losing a dear friend and invaluable advisor".
He and the hair then withdrew into a private briefing room where the parting was witnessed by notaries and lawyers from both camps. According to one witness who did not wish to be named, Rajbansi "gave the hair one more stroke for old time's sake", after which it hopped off his head, crawled across the table, and climbed into the briefcase of its senior council.
The hair's spokesman, Advocate Bunny Naidoo, asked the media to allow it a "time of privacy" so that it could "reflect on the challenges and struggles that lie ahead".
He said that his new leader was an "extremely private and soft-spoken coif" but that statements would be released to the press in due course.
However he said that the hair had always stood for truth, transparency and good governance, and that its campaign ahead of the 2009 elections would focus on addressing the divisions and existential crises that besieged South Africa.
"Toupee or not toupee? That is the question we need to answer as South Africans," said Naidoo.
Meanwhile political analysts agree that Rajbansi's hair could produce a major upset at the polls next year.
"Most of our elected leaders have proved to be as empathetic and charismatic as a bowl of styling gel," said Parliamentary correspondent Xerxes September.
"If the hair can keep clean, prevent its ends from splitting away and forming breakaway factions, and reduce the impact of flakes with regular use of an anti-dandruff shampoo, we could see a dynamic new force in South African politics."
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