November 2008 | Vol 1 | Issue 47
Transnet denies selling CEO Ramos to Chinese and Arabs as dominatrix
JOHANNESBURG. Just days after Transnet CEO Maria Ramos denied allegations that the parastatal had sold vast areas of Table Bay to foreign interests, it is being reported that Ramos herself has been sold to Chinese and Arabian investors who placed an advertisement in the smalls asking for a "tough megawoman who have own lash and who like to whip naughty naughty businessman".
This morning the acting head of Transnet, Pancho Villa, denied that Ramos had been sold as a dominatrix.
"While many of Transnet's top executives have chosen to leave the organization to pursue careers in discipline and bondage, Maria is not one of those," he told journalists.
"As far as we know she is at her desk, doing the fantastic job she has always done."
A brief investigation found that Ramos was in fact not at her desk, but that there was a large cardboard box full of US dollars on the floor, accompanied by a Hallmark greeting card reading 'To Transnet Homeys, thanx for hott Madam Lash. Love you guys, PS thanx also for Table Bay'.
Villa conceded that "something a little bit kinky" had occurred in the office and vowed to launch an investigation into Ramos's whereabouts as soon as he had placed the money in the Transnet safe, "to preserve it as key evidence in a possible kidnapping case".
Meanwhile the Democratic Alliance has lambasted Transnet over the allegations that it sold Table Bay without consulting stakeholders.
Deputy Head Prefect Marie-Antoinette Vorster said that the official opposition was "appalled".
"It is completely unacceptable that they have sold Table Bay when there are so many parts of our country that need to be sold to the Chinese and Arabs much more urgently," said Vorster.
She said that had the DA been consulted it would have urged the sale of the Eastern Cape, Mpumalanga, some of the Free State, and Fish Hoek in Cape Town "because there's nothing in Fish Hoek that couldn't be improved by some Saudi strip-mining and Chinese toxic waste dumps".
Vorster also took the opportunity to extend the DA's support to Ramos and her family.
"We're thinking special thoughts for Maria at this difficult time," she said.
"Many of our own members have been sold into the dominatrix trade, so we know how painful it can be."
However she refused to comment on the longstanding rumour that Tony Leon had once had to fight off a gang of "discipline daddies" who were intent on kidnapping him and turning him into a latex and leather ornament.
"If it's not in his book, it didn't happen," said Vorster.
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